Last week my daughter talked me into dressing up as Wonder Woman for a superhero-themed event. At first, I was reluctant. I mean, have you seen what this Amazon Warrior Princess wears? I have, and it’s not much. It wasn’t just the skimpiness that concerned me, though. It was the fact that I didn’t have what it took to fill it out — not by a long shot.
We put our heads together to try and remedy this by stuffing various household objects into two particular regions of the costume. It didn’t exactly work. Socks were too lumpy and scarves were too fuzzy. Tennis balls were considered, but they ran the risk of falling out. I didn’t want them rolling across the floor, so we didn’t even attempt a trial.
Since we couldn’t come up with a way for me to do justice to this founding member of the Justice League, I decided to take a different approach. First, I put on a red tank top and tights underneath my costume to address the issue of baring more skin than I cared to. Then, when everything was in place, I arrived at the event disguised in a long blue dress coat. The golden tiara on my head was the only hint of my superhero identity.
A few minutes into the program I was called upon to speak. I got up, walked up to the front of the room and spun myself around. As I did so, I cast off the coat to magically transform myself into . . . Wonder Woman! A blonde, middle-aged, not quite so voluptuous version, to be exact. Then, I addressed the audience.
“When my daughter asked me to wear this costume tonight, she told me it would make me feel powerful,” I confidently declared. “I’d feel even more powerful if I had the figure to actually fill it out,” I admitted.
As I went on to share some fun facts about my character, I staged a sneeze. I needed a tissue, so I pulled some out of the upper regions of my costume. A minute later I staged another sneeze and pulled out all 18 squares of two-ply stuffed into the left side. After wiping my nose, I wadded the tissue and tossed it aside.
I pretended to be unaffected by the audiences’ laughter as I became distracted by my now lopsided figure. I proceeded to remedy this by slowly pulling out the other 18 squares of toilet paper from the right side. I held them up to determine the halfway mark, ripped the strip in two, and reinserted each half into my costume.
When my bit was over, I returned to my seat. I felt a sense of satisfaction at having donned my satin tights to fight for my rights to be my own humorous version of Wonder Woman. Later on, though, it dawned on me that I really do owe a lot to the man who created her. Even though Wonder Woman is a fictional character, she did a lot to raise society’s views of women.
She showed the world that women are intelligent, strong and capable. She also showed us that many times it is the women who do the saving, not the men. Thank you, Wonder Woman, for inspiring an entire generation of girls to stop holding themselves back from all they were created to do and to be in this life.
To all you Wonderful Women out there . . . all the world is waiting for you . . . and the power you possess!