Last night I was loading up my Netflix DVD queue. My daughter was sitting nearby and reached over and typed something in the search bar. It read: you are a wonderful person mom. I was flattered. That is, until she pressed ENTER and Netflix responded with . . . Get a Job.
After our laughter died down, I was offended. I mean, I absolutely do have a job, which Netflix should know since my account is set up on auto-pay. But, since it apparently didn’t know that, or was purposely being insulting, I typed the following challenge in reply: so you think I’m a dead beat loser?
Obviously, I was miffed and already looking for a fight, which Netflix would have known had they paid any attention to the fact that I had just loaded into my queue the first three Die Hard classics starring Bruce Willis. Feeling completely justified in my righteous indignation, I hit the ENTER key with vindictive force. The epic battle between Netflix and me had begun.
Now, I don’t know if it sensed my mood through the World Wide Web, or the Die Hard’s in my queue finally registered, but Netflix apologetically responded with . . . I’m a Fool.
“You’re darn right, you’re a fool!” I declared with satisfaction. “I am a wonderful person, and I do so have a job, and you are just a stupid computer that doesn’t know anything!”
This made me feel better, of course. But, then I began to wonder if maybe Netflix was just playing dumb to throw me off. What if it was a trick? What if it wanted me to think that the search engine was only a stupid little computer incapable of taking over the planet, but was really the ring leader for the rise of the machines? Horrified by this possibility, I took swift action by loading the first three Terminator movies quickly into my queue. Then, I leaned back on the sofa, victorious.
I’m onto you, Netflix! Don’t mess with me!
P.S. I am not making any of this up!