Everyone knows you will get more miles out of your vehicle’s engine, and experience fewer mechanical problems, if you change the oil and perform other routine maintenance. Since I want my car to run smoothly, I make sure to do these things for my car. It wasn’t until recently, however, that I decided try my first personal oil change — the liver cleanse.
I set aside of week of Thanksgiving, when I had four days off from work, to tackle this project. While everyone else was stuffing themselves, I spent the week following a six-day regimented program meant to detoxify the liver. I figured by the Sunday evening after the holiday (which would be the end of Day 6) I would be ready to prepare and enjoy a traditional feast for my family, albeit three days later than most of America. Let me just say I was, well . . . WRONG!
The liver cleanse was fairly easy at first. Days 1-4 consisted of eating a restricted diet full of liver-cleansing foods and drinking specific detoxifying beverages, which was no big deal. Then on Day 5 things got a little more challenging. That’s the day where you have to drink epsom salts dissolved in water, and chug down six ounces of olive oil. I thought the olive oil would be the worst part, but I was wrong. It was definitely the epsom salts!
I was proud of myself for making it through Day 5, but Day 6 was even worse. I woke up at 2 a.m. feeling like I had the flu. I had a headache, fatigue, and nausea so bad I couldn’t eat anything, let alone cook anything, the entire day.
I wasn’t worried, though, because I knew my symptoms were actually signs the cleanse was working! “Besides,” I told myself. “I will feel better tomorrow!”
Tomorrow came and is now today. Since it is Monday, I am supposed to be at work, and while I do feel a little bit better, I don’t feel well enough to go to work or even to eat. However, the turkey absolutely couldn’t wait another day, so I stuffed it, put it in the oven, and went back to bed.
A few hours later, I watched my family enjoy it. Yes, WATCHED! But, the good news is . . . there are plenty of leftovers!
When I do finally get to eat them, at least I will know my nice clean liver will be able to process everything with the speed of a brand new Ferrari F12 Berlinetta. I doubt I will ever have a real Ferrari in my garage, so knowing I’ve got one in my body is a consolation to me. Still, I have no plans to change my Ferrari’s oil for at least a year, and next time I am definitely not doing a liver cleanse anywhere near Thanksgiving!