Yesterday I suffered a disappointment that brought some unexpected tears. I had dared to hope that a new treatment approach might resolve a problem of chronic pain that has plagued my body for a decade. Yet, instead of experiencing the healing that I long for, I experienced yet another disappointment.
I didn’t expect this to make me cry, but it did. Yet, after I dried my eyes and went back to the tasks of the day, I was encouraged by the realization that God will not withhold any good thing from me. If I am not healed it is not because God doesn’t care. It is because God is doing something good in the midst of my suffering.
The question, then, becomes . . . do I trust God with my pain? Do I trust that he knows all about it and has ordained it for a purpose? Do I trust that since his only thoughts toward me are thoughts of profound love and compassion that he has allowed this in my life not to punish me but to bless me?
Although I do not often view it as a blessing, I have had enough life experience to know that it is through trials and hardships that we are driven to a deeper understanding of God and of ourselves. Even if the only good thing I can see from my limited human perspective is that my pain drove me to seek my creator’s face — that in itself is a blessing. In fact, it is a blessing I would surely have missed out on if I was skipping through life with nary a care in the world and never looking up to the heavens from whence I came.
Proverbs 3:5 — Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.